As I sat down to write this article, I thought, “It has to be perfect. I have to come up with the perfect topic. It needs to be eloquent, witty, and highly intelligent. I need the perfect setting in which to write it and the perfect time…” You get the idea.
That was when I knew exactly what to write about: perfectionism.
It’s overrated – and it doesn’t serve us well. It keeps us stuck. It fuels procrastination. It stops us from trying new things, starting projects, and finishing what we begin. It keeps us from pursuing our dreams! Ultimately, it traps us in our comfort zone – because, let’s be honest, we can’t do anything perfectly the first time.
If it has to be perfect, we won’t even try. Perfectionism keeps us small, exhausted (it takes enormous energy to chase it), and far less than our best. Yes, I’ll say it: perfectionism is not the best. You are not becoming the best version of yourself when you’re trying to be perfect. There is no creativity, curiosity, or courage in perfectionism. In fact, one of the most courageous things you can do is admit that perfectionism is holding you back.
We have a hard time letting go of it because at some point in our past, our brain latched onto the idea that perfectionism is a good and desirable trait. Moving beyond it starts with rethinking our thinking and honestly evaluating these questions: “Is perfectionism truly a good thing? Is it serving me well? Am I becoming the person I want to be by clinging to it?”
Five years ago, when God placed these questions squarely in front of me, my honest answer to all of them was “No.” When I finally stepped back and looked at myself from the outside, I realized perfectionism was not who I wanted to be, nor was it taking me where I wanted to go. Worst of all, it was keeping me stuck in “protection mode.”
In the last five years, I’ve read and listened to a great deal of neuroscience books, articles, podcasts, and more. They repeatedly describe the brain as operating in one of two primary states: connection/relational mode or protection mode (also called enemy mode or survival mode). We are either calm, connected, and feeling safe or we feel threatened, afraid, and unsafe. Protection mode triggers the classic fight/flight/freeze response. Connection mode opens the door to calm, creative, curious, and playful states.
Perfectionism is fundamentally a fear response. Our brain has concluded that if it can do something perfectly, it will keep us safe from criticism, failure, rejection, or some other threat—whether external or internal.
Living in protection mode is exhausting. Five years ago, I decided I had spent far too much of my life there. I wanted to live the majority of my days in connection mode. I wanted to experience real joy (which is only possible in connection mode), breathe deeply, relax my shoulders, stay fully present in the moment, notice the sunset, hear the chirping birds, and finally let go of perfectionism. Just let it go. Cold turkey.
The most powerful way I’ve found to do that is by embracing the simple phrase: “Good enough is good enough.”
Now, I don’t apply this to everything. Some things truly require precision and excellence. But for the perfectionist reading this, you know exactly what I mean. We often refuse to do a task at all unless we can do it perfectly.
Done is better than perfect. Something is better than nothing.
There is a well-established principle behind this: the law of diminishing returns. In economics and productivity research, it means that after a certain point each additional unit of effort produces smaller and smaller improvements in results. For example, if it takes two hours to reach 80% completion on a task, getting the last 20% to “perfect” can easily take double or triple that time. Those extra hours spent chasing perfection are rarely worth the lost opportunity cost of what else you could have accomplished.
To wrap this up, I’m going to apply this profound concept to the field of privatized banking and the Infinite Banking Concept. Starting a policy with whatever you can afford right now is far better than putting it off until conditions feel perfect. You will likely not be in better health in the future than you are right now. Do it now—however small. Something is better than nothing.
For those of you (advisor, client, or prospect!) who often ask me how to talk to others about privatized banking: it doesn’t have to be perfect! Good heavens, if I had waited to explain the concept until I understood everything perfectly, I would never have shared it at all. We learn as we go! It’s okay if you don’t explain it perfectly. It’s okay to admit you don’t know the answer to someone’s question right now. It’s okay to stumble through the explanation or get tongue-tied.
It’s the same with the gospel! It might not come out the way we wanted the first time, but we have to share it the first time to get to the second, third, and fourth. You reap rewards by sowing generously. The more you do it, the better you get. As I recently heard at a book writing conference, write the first and second chapters so you can get to the third. Everyone throws out the first two anyway!
Good enough is good enough.
Done is better than perfect.
Something is better than nothing.
Start small. Start simple. Then reward yourself for the small victories. Celebrate the mistakes. Laugh at the imperfections. They often make the best stories.
